ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
