Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
should my penis look like a turkey
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
