so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize
