girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
