She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize