I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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