i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
