oh god the rape fog is back!
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
