the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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