Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
