On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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