I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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