Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
