you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize