Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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