i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
