Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
it was like having sex with a tree stump
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
