the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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