and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
