last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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