i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
