Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
