i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
