I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
