Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
