i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
