Umm I'm too high to move.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Randomize
