Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
