how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
