I can text with my tongue
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize