He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize