i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I am one with the molecules
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
