why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
