you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
How does it feel to date your dad?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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