Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
