I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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