Me. At least after what I've been through.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
