Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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