Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
