Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I could fuck to npr.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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