How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
