im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
