with your own penis?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
