We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
