I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
