TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
