lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
