Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
