You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Houston, we have a blender
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
