I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
