Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize