can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
