theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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