She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
