I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
