ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
