pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
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And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
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Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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