He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
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