Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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